self-pity

self-pity — noun

1. A tendency to focus on one's own problems and misfortunes, often accompanied by

1.nounB2
Definition

A tendency to focus on one's own problems and misfortunes, often accompanied by the belief that one has been treated unfairly by life or other people.

Example

After losing his job, Bilal sank into self-pity for nearly a week.

collocation: sink into self-pity

Her therapist told Greta that self-pity only makes it harder to move past painful experiences.

collocation: self-pity + makes it harder to [verb]

Common collocations
  • sink into self-pity
  • wallow in self-pity
  • indulge in self-pity
  • a bout of self-pity
  • a moment of self-pity
  • overcome with self-pity
  • trap of self-pity
  • drown in self-pity
Synonyms
  • self-absorption

    broader — being so focused on oneself that one ignores others; does not necessarily involve sadness

  • self-centeredness

    emphasis on selfishness rather than on feeling sorry for oneself

  • self-indulgence

    focuses on giving oneself pleasure or comfort, not on dwelling on misfortune

  • moroseness

    a gloomy mood that may or may not involve a sense of unfair treatment

Antonyms
  • resilience

    the ability to recover quickly from hardship without dwelling on it

  • stoicism

    enduring hardship without complaining or feeling sorry for oneself

  • compassion

    focus on the suffering of others rather than oneself

Grammar Patterns

wallow in [self-pity]

be trapped in [self-pity]

indulge in [self-pity]

Usage Note

Almost always used as an uncountable noun. Carries a negative or critical tone — calling someone's feelings 'self-pity' implies the person is exaggerating their suffering or avoiding action.

Common Mistakes

I need some self-pity to recover.
I need some self-care to recover.
'self-pity' is a negative emotion about unfair treatment, not a positive act of looking after oneself.

Word family

  • self-pitying
    adjectiveC1
  • self-pityingly
    adverbC1
  • self-piteous
    adjectiveC2

Synonym discussion

Sense: noun/1

Self-pity specifically means feeling sorry for oneself because of perceived unfair hardship. Self-absorption is broader — a person absorbed in their own world may not even notice others, without necessarily feeling sad or wronged. Self-centeredness implies a selfish disregard for other people's needs, which may or may not involve complaints about one's own life. Self-indulgence is about seeking pleasure or comfort excessively, such as eating too much or avoiding work, rather than dwelling on misfortune. For example, someone who stays in bed all day replaying their failures is showing self-pity; someone who talks only about their own hobbies at a party is self-absorbed; someone who cuts in line is self-centered; someone who eats three desserts at dinner is self-indulgent.

self-pity ↗self-absorptionself-centerednessself-indulgence

Etymology

Old English (self)Latin (pietas → pity via Old French pité)English

Formed by combining the prefix 'self-' (meaning directed at or relating to oneself) with the noun 'pity' (sympathetic sorrow for someone else's suffering). The word first appeared in English in the early 17th century and has carried a critical tone since its earliest recorded uses.