self-control

self-control — noun

1. The skill of keeping your emotions and desires from controlling what you say or

1.nounB2
Definition

The skill of keeping your emotions and desires from controlling what you say or do, especially in difficult situations.

Example

Kemi showed remarkable self-control when she did not shout back at the rude customer.

show + self-control when resisting an urge

Ilan needed great self-control to walk away from that argument before saying something hurtful.

need + self-control to avoid reacting

Common collocations
  • exercise self-control
  • lose self-control
  • show / demonstrate self-control
  • require / take self-control
  • self-control over
  • self-control to
Synonyms
  • restraint

    More about holding back from expressing something, often in a social or physical context (e.g., 'show restraint during a debate').

  • willpower

    Focuses on the mental determination to resist temptation or achieve a difficult goal (e.g., 'the willpower to quit smoking').

  • composure

    Specifically refers to staying calm under pressure, especially in social or emotional situations (e.g., 'keep your composure during an interview').

Antonyms
  • impulsiveness

    Acting quickly without thinking about the consequences.

  • indulgence

    The habit of letting yourself do or have what you want without restriction.

Grammar Patterns

noun: have/show/exercise/lose + self-control

noun: self-control + over + noun phrase

Usage Note

This noun is uncountable and is often followed by 'over' when naming the specific impulse or behaviour being managed (e.g., 'self-control over one's temper'). It may also take a 'to'-infinitive describing an action that the person resists or performs through willpower ('the self-control to say no').

Common Mistakes

I need to self-control my anger.
I need to exercise self-control over my anger.
'self-control' is a noun, not a verb. Use verbs such as 'have', 'show', 'exercise', or 'lose' with it.
She has a strong self-control.
She has strong self-control.
'self-control' is uncountable, so it does not take 'a' before it.

Word family

Synonym discussion

Sense: noun/1

These five words all relate to managing one's own behaviour, but they differ in scope and emphasis. Self-control focuses specifically on holding back emotions or impulses in the moment — for example, staying quiet when someone insults you. Self-discipline is broader: it covers training yourself to follow routines and rules over time, like studying a little every day instead of cramming. Willpower refers to the mental energy used to resist temptation or push through difficulty — you might use willpower to refuse a second slice of cake. Restraint is more about the deliberate choice to hold back from saying or doing something, especially when you have the power to act. Composure is the narrowest: it describes a calm, controlled emotional state under pressure, such as staying composed while giving a public speech. In everyday use, someone who does not eat sweets is showing willpower; someone who stays calm during a crisis has composure; and someone who chooses not to argue back shows self-control or restraint.

self-control ↗self-discipline ↗willpowerrestraint ↗composure

Common collocations

Nouns

Phrases

  • exercise self-control
  • lose self-control
  • lack of self-control
  • test your self-control

Prepositions

Etymology

Old EnglishMiddle FrenchEnglish

Self-control is a compound word built from 'self-' (from Old English, meaning 'one's own person') and 'control' (from Middle French 'contrerôle', a copy of a roll of accounts used to check against the original, later developing the sense of 'restraint' or 'command'). The combined noun entered English around the early 1700s, replacing earlier terms like 'self-government' for the idea of mastering one's own impulses.